The proper study of man is man
In a past life, I was a graduate student studying type theory and functional programming. I guess I was okay at it. I like reading papers, learning new things, and making stuff. I didn't like being a grad student. It turns out the former is not sufficient for the latter. So I dropped out after seventeenth grade and broke up with type theory, but don't worry, we are still friends. I did some research, but I never published any papers. It turns out that while I didn't like being a graduate student and I didn't like writing research papers, I do like writing fake research papers. These were all published in the proceedings of the ACH SIGBOVIK conference.